3 Things Your Donation Letter Must Be
And 1 Thing Your Appeal Should Never Be
I’m convinced that there’s only one thing in life today that prepares you to write donation letters.
It’s not writing essays in school. It’s not slaving away in a newsroom or a nonprofit marketing team. And it’s definitely not earning your MBA or PhD.
It’s listening to bedtime stories as a kid.
You see, when we’re children, we have firm ideas about what’s interesting and what’s not. Dinosaurs. Interesting. Parents talking about mortgage refinancing. Not interesting.
And we know that great stories have structure. They have a distinct beginning: Once upon a time, fierce dinosaurs walked the earth. A middle: Continents drifted and dinosaurs adapted or died off. And an end: A mysterious event wiped out the dinosaurs.
With a great story, our kids clamor for more. And that’s exactly how we want donors to feel.
Avoid “catch-all” appeals
But the further away we get from childhood – and the deeper we get buried in our work – it gets harder and harder to spot a great story. I’ve had several clients recently struggle with this.
They want to do stories that are important to their nonprofits, but hold questionable value to their donors. Year-end appeals are especially prone to becoming catch-alls for organizational announcements, data dumps, “education,” and mission retreads.
Now it’s possible that your donors want these things. If you’re in your database regularly, then you know for sure. (And if they do, please let me know. Because a professional writer can infuse any topic with childlike wonder ... even mortgage refinancing.)
But best practice suggests that these stories are usually not going to earn as much as an entertaining donation letter that touches your donors’ hearts.
Here are 3 qualities I think every great fundraising story must have:
Great donation letters are emotional
Neuroscience tells us that most humans are swayed by emotion first, logic second. In fact, the brain gets defensive when you lead with cold hard facts.
When I evaluate potential stories, I look for one with a strong, singular emotion that I can easily name. Bedtime stories usually focus on one theme.
If there are several competing emotions, then I move on to the next potential story. (Complex stories beg for richer media i.e. video versus a 500-word donation appeal.)
I should mention that there’s evidence that positive stories (and photos) motivate existing donors – especially if you maintain a consistent stream of communications throughout the year. This makes sense. Your investors want to hear positive news about the lives changed with their donations.
But if it’s been a while since your donors heard from you – or if you’re acquiring new donors – then a more negative emotion may draw folks in. But make sure you pivot once they make that first donation.
Great donation letters are transformational
You know donors want to see that their donations make an impact. But they don’t want to read a series of numbers. That drags down readability.
Instead, tell a complete story about one person, one forest, or one pet. Give just enough context upfront so that the donor can relate to your character and root for their success.
Next, give your story a middle. This is where your character enters a Rocky-style training montage. They make a decision. They connect with your nonprofit. Donors help you to support this character in specific ways. And maybe they suffer a setback, but they are determined to succeed.
And finally, you reveal the transformation. The best stories show a dramatic change. The character not only gets a job, but achieves their dream of saving and buying a house so their family is never homeless again!
In short, they have a happily ever after.
Great donation letters are personal
I’m still working on this one in my own writing. But my partner Terri is a total pro at making the donor feel that the letter is from one person to that donor only. It’s an art.
This means that you have to drop the grad school words. And use fragments. Not to mention ellipses, dashes and more exclamation points than I would ever use in my normal writing style.
You have to use the words “you” and “your” twice as much as “I,” “we,” or your organization’s name. I actually count these in the donation letters I write for clients to make sure I’m on track.
There’s also a substance play here. Are you going to be the nonprofit that pretends everything is perfect and inadvertently suggests you don’t need the donor’s help? That’s kind of the Facebook filter approach to fundraising.
Or are you going to get real and talk about what you dream about doing if you had more resources. Or give an insider’s look at a particular case that frustrated you.
There’s a balance to be struck there to keep the focus on the donor, but I think a little vulnerability, now and then, can be a powerful storytelling tool.
Great donation letters are never a sales pitch
Try to strip your donation letter of the standard sales pitch. In a bedtime story, you’d never hear, “The fairy godmother offers a range of low-cost services, from Cinderella makeovers to Sleeping Beauty insomnia cures.”
Yes, it makes sense to reference your mission in your appeal. But you shouldn’t feel you need to cover the breadth of all your programs. Focus on one and leave the rest for the brochure.
Likewise, you can say thanks to volunteers, staff and clients if they’re vital to the story. Just don’t forget that in this letter, the donor comes first. Touch and go.
Finally, I should say that I’m not a fan of stating a general fundraising goal in your letter. “We’re trying to raise $100,000 by the end of the year.”
That’s just not very motivating – it sounds too much like the pricing part of a sales pitch. And it suggests that you’ll notify people if you do – or do not – reach your goal.
The one exception is when you have a tangible need you’re trying to fill. “We’re raising $100,000 to give bicycles to 7,000 children.” Tying an amount to a specific need is very motivating for donors.
Use these tips to find just the right story for your donors. One that will make them feel something, gain a greater appreciation for your work, and speak directly to their personal values.
Because your donation letter should make donors hungry for more ... not put them to sleep.
